


Still in Love (But is it Still With You?)

by greyskieslatenights



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 22:31:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5802664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyskieslatenights/pseuds/greyskieslatenights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's still love, but not the same kind it used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still in Love (But is it Still With You?)

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [the_brownie_bunch_4](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/the_brownie_bunch_4) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>  "When do you know it's over?
> 
> Maybe when you're more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you"

“Yah, Bbang. You’re still up?”

Himchan’s got a towel draped over his head as he peers into his and Yongguk’s shared room. Yongguk’s on his bed, but even in the dark Himchan can see the faint glow of his laptop screen light on his face where he’s hunched over.

“So’re you,” Yongguk replies, chuckling, but he folds his laptop up and puts it away, lying down with a soft _thud_ on top of his blankets.

“I had to check on the kids,” Himchan protests weakly. He lies down on his own bed, sprawling out on top of his sheets.

“They’re not kids anymore,” Yongguk says, but there’s a trace of fondness in his voice. They’ll always be their kids – Daehyun, the next oldest, is still three years younger than they are, and Himchan doesn’t even want to think about the fact that Junhong is now an adult.

It reminds Himchan of how old he is.

How old _they_ are.

Himchan inhales, exhales, his chest rising and falling heavily. They haven’t been active for so long, and he almost forgot how exhausting it all was.

“You should sleep,” Yongguk says, “we have an early recording tomorrow.”

He’s right. He always is. Yongguk gets up and turns the lights off, then comes back, kissing Himchan lightly on the forehead before he crawls under his blankets.

“G’night.”

“’night.”

In the darkness, Himchan is left alone to his own thoughts.

He looks to the side – Yongguk’s back is facing to him, probably curled around his Tigger plush. Himchan cracks a small smile. Some things never change.

Other things do.

He sighs, shifting so he’s looking at Yongguk more clearly. It’s been so long since they’ve known each other, so long since they started this – this _thing_ that they have, that Himchan’s not even sure what to call anymore.

When Himchan looks at Yongguk, he still sees the nights they spent up late when they were younger, eating Yongguk’s shitty ramen and talking about nothing and limbs tangled in sheets with nothing but the sound of breathing in the air.

But they’re older, now.

Things aren’t like they were when they were barely out of their teens and felt like they could take on the world anymore. They’re twenty-six this year – too old for playing around and thinking they’re invincible.

He loves Yongguk. He always will. How could he not?

But he knows things are not the same, and they can never go back the way they used to be.

He knows Yongguk is, at the very least, on the same page as he is – they have always been able to read each other well, and if Himchan’s noticed how the  “I love you’s” started becoming less frequently and the fleeting touches have become even more so, Yongguk definitely has.

He would be lying to himself if he said he never was in love with Yongguk. There was a time when Yongguk quite honestly consumed so much of his waking thought (and his dreams, too), when things just felt different and _just so right._

But now, as he thinks about the things that used to be, he wonders if he’d rather live in the past than the future.

**Author's Note:**

> this was honestly a very hard fic for me to write, as my first b.a.p fic in over a year. I always feel like my exchange fics aren't as good as they could be, but prompter, I hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
